First Date?

In trying to move on slash not spend time at home thinking about J I went out for drinks with a girl I met Saturday night. She's taller than girls I would normally date, but she's also a former cruise ship dancer, so figuring she could be entertaining, so why not. Went to a place I'd never been to before BIN 941, nice little bar with a good selection of wines by the glass. I don't usually try a wine that I'm unfamiliar with, but I did tonight...why deviate? Well when there's a wine called Dirty Laundry how could you not? How was it? Surprisingly good, given its name.

So we're sitting there having some wine and getting to know each other when the couple at the table next to us starts going at it. I'm talking full-on, get a room make out session. It took less than 5 minutes for the whole bar, staff included, to be staring at them. giggling like school children. I love a little PDA now and then but c'mon people come up for some air!!! They never got the point and continued until we left.

So as she's telling me about her life, her dreams, and her past, I notice a song softly in the background....losing all focus of the conversation as I realize its Arcade Fire and Neighborhood #4, one of J's Italia songs. As my date continues talking I strain to hear the beat resonating, wanting nothing more than to reach into the pocket of my jacket and put the song on to remember. For the rest of the night I'm distracted.

As we leave and I walk her home, the song is still on my mind. Reaching her steps I kiss her good night, hoping for some sort of spark...a feeling that leaves me wanting more; a feeling I have every time I kiss J....but it doesn't come; it just makes me miss her more.

Finally listening to the song, I come to a stop and look to my left knowing that J is only 4 blocks away; wanting nothing more than to go to her, call her, hold her....but I can't. Even walking past her apartment would torture me...quickly I turn and head towards home.