Distracted

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss

It's funny the things yoga instructors say at the end of a yoga class, the Dr. Seuss quote is just one example. I just got back from one of the worst classes I've ever been to; not because the instructor was bad but because I was incredibly distracted. I didn't have anything in particular on my mind, everything frustrated me.....the kids in the yoga studio...the almost naked man in front of me...the gong the instructor kept hitting (ok so maybe it was a little bit about the instructor). At the beginning of class, it's always said to clear your mind and leave whatever ails you outside of the studio, but today I just couldn't do it because it wasn't anything in particular just a feeling I couldn't shake. Since my last conversation with J, today was the first day that I hadn't been on the go, I spent most of the day at home with my thoughts, which for me is never a good thing. However, I do feel I'm becoming more and more used to being alone; I still don't like it but it's becoming easier. And other than a drunken text message to J late Friday night and her Saturday afternoon reply, we haven't contacted each other, which is why I'm distracted. My life is missing my person.

I think the reason that the quote spoke to me is I've always tried to live my life as openly and honestly as I could. I wear my heart on my sleeve, which isn't always a good thing, but that's me. I've never cared about what others thought of me (and still don't); if they have a problem with the person I am then they can choose to not be around me. One of the reasons I've been updating my blog so regularly is because I'm not ready to be the person I am with new people as I don't think they could handle my openness and honesty. And as I no longer have J to share myself with I needed a vehicle for that part of me; so thank-you to those that read. I also want to be able to look at this quote in the future in case I forget who I am; I don't believe I'll forget that, but just in case the brilliant Dr. Seuss will make sure to remind me.