Moving Day #2

I spent yesterday helping J get furniture for her new place. We started with a queen box spring and mattress, which brought back memories of 5 years ago when J and I picked the king size bed that we spent our life together sleeping in. Lying in beds, testing their comfort I wondered if I'd ever get the chance to spend the night in this bed. Would we ever get back to that point? Neither one of us know what the future brings, but testing beds was fun, there wasn't any tension or stress bubbling under the surface. Bed shopping reminded my of how good we were together, without stress or tension. Just that we could be.

Next up was Ikea, the place we spent countless hours shopping, buying 95% of our furniture. I tried to give her space and let her come to me for advice, rather than following her every move, nevertheless an hour in, she looked at me at said, "I think this was a bad idea." Both of us were feeling the strain of memories....seeing the furniture that resides in our home scattered around the store. But we continued, knowing that this had to be done. No matter how much hurt it brought it was a necessary evil. Leaving 4 hours after we began, we went to J's apartment to build and unpack.

We mostly avoided the topic of us, instead focusing on the move and the week's plans. The only show of emotional strain was when we attempted to separate our sex toy drawer at home. The easy ones were the insertables, because...well...sanitation. When it came to rope, emotions took over and we had to stop with J in tears and me on the verge. I let her have our first piece a 15-ft 6mm piece of violet bought together at Seattle's Babeland, which began our love of rope. She also said she wanted the 30-ft 8mm piece of black rope, that was from my first order from Twisted Monk. She has more memories of it than I do, so I told her to take it. I think this was harder that anything else that we had to separate because of its intimacy. I remember each sex toy I bought and why...what my thinking was behind it....whether it was success or failure. And as I handed them to J, a little piece of me felt like it was being torn out; a memory never to be evoked again.

12 hours after we began, we were finished. With a new bed and dresser, J's place is closer to her home. She will always be my home. I will at peace, comfortable whenever I'm with her. Like everything is right in the world. I could be anywhere but as long as I was with her I would feel a sense of home. At the end of the day I asked her if she had changed her mind about shopping with me being a bad idea and she said she had...bringing a smile to my heart. While the day was indeed difficult I think it reminded us both of how we can be together, the love we still have. J needs to find single her....and I hope that she does. While I will never wait for her, I hope that we will be able to be together again because I know know woman better than her.