Comfort

No matter what happens, it's amazing how comfortable you can be with someone. I had coffee and watched some TV with J tonight and at times it felt like 6 months ago; which is both good and bad. Good because I love her company more than anyone I know and bad because when you become too comfortable with someone there's no mystery. Watching TV with butterflies in my stomach; I couldn't help thinking about all of the things I wanted to tell her....wishing that we were lying in bed with my arms wrapped around her, caressing her back and baring our souls; but at the same time knowing that it could never be like that, at least not now....maybe never again. At times I could sense that she felt this too, or at least a part of it. I know we're not in a place where we can share everything with each other....from what we did during the day....to who we've been out with....to what has gone on behind closed doors; we will ever again? I'm pretty sure right now neither of us would be able to handle the truth, but I hope we will again...I see it like baby steps, you have to crawl before you walk; walk before you can run; run before you sprint; I always want to skip to the sprint...but that's not often how life works......Life is all about the process.