Out

During my road trip I told pretty much anyone I had a chance to talk to for an extended period of time that I was both poly and kinky; some needed a little bit more explanation about what that means, others knew right away, but the interesting thing was that everyone I told (all of whom were vanilla, at least as far as I'm aware) asked questions and continued the conversation instead of running for the hills. So either I have some amazing friends or it's just not that big of a deal anymore, while I wish the latter were true, I think in this situation the former is the case. However, I think as the world and both sexes evolve there is less and less of a stigma attached to being either poly or kinky.

So with that knowledge in hand, last night I came out to my dad as both poly and kinky....the reaction was, well, what I expected from my dad; complete and utter acceptance. He asked a few questions and thanked me for sharing it with him but that was about it. My decision to come out to him stemmed from him coming out of his shell after 64 years of life, brought on by his recent Caribbean cruise that he went on with a lady that he met 23 years ago when both of them were married, an amazing story to say the least. And I figured that now was as good a time as any, especially as I'm finding my footing more and more in this 'brave new world' as my Dad called it. As a good parent, his only concern was my safety from STIs, which anyone that lives the same life that I do knows are a huge part of being both poly and kinky and is a conversation that happens very near the beginning of any sexual relationship in this lifestyle. I know for me it's something that comes up within the first couple of dates, once I decide a person may be worth seeing more of; it's also an easy way to filter out people that aren't interested in the way we live. Where I live, the number of poly/kinky friends I have are few in number, so it's especially important when meeting vanilla people, as it separates those that are truly vanilla from those that are interested, but have yet to have the opportunity to explore. Yes, sometimes this can blow up in your face, but if you prepare for the worst and are open and honest, you'll be amazed at how often you're surprised.

I'm lucky to have a family as close as I do and one so accepting, I know for a lot of individuals coming out is a huge deal, as most parents are not accepting of the lifestyle that we have chosen to live. While I may be in a unique family situation, I think the way to approach it is the same for everyone. Be confident, be honest, and have faith that your family loves you for you, no matter what life you chose to lead. Your family is your family and they love you unconditionally; I've come to understand that if they understand your reasons for living the life you've chosen to live that they will accept it. The stumbling block is giving them the time to understand those reasons. The other night I was talking to one of my sister's best friends (and yes, vanilla) and told her about Blip and how our dynamic works, what I get out of it and what she gets out of it. To which she replied, "interesting, you see things in movies and such and it always seems degrading, but when you put it that way it's not at all." And this was all over a 10-minute conversation; I was able to express to her how it works and why it works. It also helps that she knows the type of person I am and knows I would never abuse the relationship I'm in, which can be a concern if the D in the D/S relationship is unethical, but that's a discussion for another time.