What Women Want

I've been trying to get out and meet people, women mainly (a guy at the age of 30 trying to pick up a guy as a new friend, is just a little weird, no?), not because I want to meet people or get into a relationship with anyone but just to have someone to talk to....a warm body. Something I've noticed though is that in meeting women, they aren't really interested in who I am, I ask them a question and they'll talk and talk and talk. They don't seem to care or want to ask me anything and if they do they don't remember it when next we talk...in one ear and out the other. In one way that's good because I'm not in a place where I want to share myself with anyone nor discuss my past, but on the other hand I feel guilty because I feel like I'm using them. While I'm not lying to them, I am not disclosing the whole truth and I sometimes get the feeling that they're looking at me like, "hey, here's an attractive, successful guy, who knows where it could lead." I don't feel like I'm lying to them, because they don't ask; which makes me feel a little better. I know if they asked the question I wouldn't skirt the subject, instead tell them where I'm at (I might avoid the warm body comment however) and that my heart belongs to another and that I'd give anything to be able to hold her like I used to.

While I don't feel like I'm moving on, I don't feel like I'm cheating either. I think that's because J and I were in an open relationship and were allowed to date other people while together. I almost feel like we're apart but not really apart. Like we're just separated by a distance that seems much farther than it is. I know deep down that this isn't the case, but it's a feeling I occasionally have, like one day we're just going to fall back together. It is fleeting though...she's beginning to not return my, "I love yous," which in reality I probably shouldn't say anymore, because it hurts when she doesn't return it; but it almost hurts more not to say what's inside of me. I know she won't say it first and the occasional time she says those words bring a smile to my heart, even though I know she probably only says it to appease me.....wow that was a tangent; ok back on topic.....

Are most women like this and I've just been away from the single life for too long? Or have I just happened across women who are too into themselves or have too many drama issues? I don't know, I guess I will only find out in time. Being a good listener is not a bad thing and I just have to be prepared for the question when and if it comes because if I continue seeing the same people I'm sure it'll come up at some point, or will it? Maybe listening will help me figure out what exactly it is that women want; but probably not.