Nights

I've noticed recently that if I'm not out with someone all night, rather end up at home or alone by the time 10pm rolls around; I have a desire to drink. No, I don't consider myself an alcoholic, nor to I drink to excess on weekdays....occasionally it happens on weekends....but I have found myself drinking at least a bottle of wine (or equivalent) 5 nights a week. I am feeling better about J and I these days, as we've been talking as if friends (which I miss immensely), so I can't attribute it to that.....but I have been having problems sleeping if I haven't been drinking; which I don't think is all that good, but I think the fact that I'm aware of it is a step in the right direction and if I can make sure to be cognizant of this, hopefully I can adequately monitor it.

In other news, after the Spearhead concert (not John Mayer) the girl I took, I'll call her B, and I had a conversation that ended up getting into relationships. So I told her that I had been in an open relationship and her reaction was like none I've ever encountered....."My whole perspective of you has changed......" she said. She didn't give a reason as to why her perspective had changed, although we had only been out twice before so I'm not sure exactly how solidified her perspective of me could be. It may have had something to do with the fact that her and her ex, of 2 and a half years, had discussed getting into an open relationship because they had been having problems, which is absolutely the worst reason to get into one. In my opinion this would be called 'seeing other people' and not an open relationship, which occurs when 2 people love and cherish each other and see an open relationship as a way to enhance what they have and NOT to see if there's something better; at least that's the way J and I approached it after much research. In any event, I discussed how I entered into an open relationship and said while I believe in them that doesn't mean I exclude everything else; nevertheless she left quite quickly; however, over the next couple of days she continued to talk to me because I "intrigued her." In discussing this with a good friend, he said that women seem to overuse the word "intrigue" as a replacement for them being turned on, or in his words 'horny', in order to not seem slutty or too eager......I'd wondered why I'd been told this on a couple of occasions, not that I buy into his logic, but it's interesting to consider....I thought it was just because I'm very different than most people, but maybe I'm wrong, only time will tell.