Contracts

Every month (well I started last month but will continue to attend - so really only 2 months so far....but I digress) I'm attending a Master/slave discussion group. I'm not looking for, nor do I have a slave, however as a Dominant many of the concepts are transferable to the Dominant/submissive relationship so I will continue to attend. Last night's topic was contracts - a written agreement between the Master and slave outlining what is expected of each in their relationship; they also typically outline how long the slave with serve the Master.

Contracts are not something I believe in. It's a static document and a relationship should be fluid no matter how it's structured. Furthermore, a good Master/Dominant should be able to train their slave/submissive in such a way that there is no need for a contract as all actions have been learned and none are open to one partner's interpretation. I think that a Master could very easily fall prey to relying on the contract too much and fail to see a change in the slave. This could very easily lead to relationship problems as open communication is not facilitated. Yes, methods of communication can be written into a contract, however there's still the chance that it's not deemed to be as open or free as a result of the contract's language. If you're living with your slave/submissive a cohabitation agreement is probably a good idea, especially if the Master looks after the financial side of the relationship as you'd want to make sure your slave was looked after if something happened, but this is very much different than a M/s contract.

Something else that you have to understand about contracts is that they will not stand up in court, as one person cannot legally give away their rights to another. If they verbally say that they no longer want to be a part of the relationship then they no longer are, whatever is written into a M/s contract carries no weight in the court room. The only weight it would carry would be based on the commitment that each party has to each other and you don't need a contract to create that commitment.

I feel that if you are able to remain in regular contact with you slave/submissive and you are an individual who has the ability to understand and notice changes in behaviour then you will be able to ensure that the relationship stays on the path that you both want it to be. This brings us back to this concept of communication; which is not only key to this type of relationship but any relationship. I think I'm a good communicator (or at least have been told that I am), but even so I've made sure to let any partner know that if I'm not communicating properly make me aware of it, so that I can make adjustments as none of us are infallible. Contracts are too rigid and can often be open to interpretation; me I prefer the direct approach.