Solo Vacations

I have this theory about how when one partner goes on a vacation without the other it often leads to the end of their relationship. As I sit here writing this, it seems like such a silly concept; however over the course of my life I've had this happen to me on 4 different occasions, 3 of which would be what I would consider my most important relationships:

- My high school girlfriend from my senior year went away over Christmas for 10-days and within 2 days of coming back broke up with me to be with another guy
- Before J I was in a relationship for a year and my partner was away in Hong Kong for 3 weeks, while I spent 10 days in Hawaii for a wedding and within 2 days of us both being back in Vancouver I broke up with her to be with J, who herself at that time was in a casual relationship with her ex
- J was in Italy for a 6-week field school, although in this case it took 7-months for the relationship to come to an end but the feelings began to build during the field school, ultimately leading to our break-up; as the time alone allowed her to discover some things about herself;

When you're younger I think the explanation is easier, you have a long life ahead of you and a short attention span. However, as you grow more mature and your relationships become more significant, you'd think that this wouldn't hold true, but my history says that it does. In the case of J, I wonder if I jinxed our relationship because when she got into the field school I said it was going to lead to the end of our relationship, which at the time worried and upset her, but maybe my belief planted a seed of doubt her mind about us. I'll never know, but I wonder about it sometimes.

As I said the concept seems silly, especially since I know lots of people who take vacations without their partners and they stay together; but what if the length of the vacation has something to do with it. For instance, if you've been together for 6 years and one partner takes a 3-week vacation they'll be fine, but what about if that vacation was 7-weeks, would the same hold true? The separation of partners can lead to them forgetting what they enjoy about each other, it gives them time to think about themselves and evaluate where there are in life so that when they get back with their partner their mind is already on to the next thing. I don't believe in soul mates, maybe if I did I would say love conquers all and it doesn't matter where in the world you are you will always love your soul mate; but I think many people in the world are never satisfied; they'll always be on the lookout for the next best thing and when given the time to think about it, it's not what they have.

I think how vacations affect relationships would make for an interesting study and if I was an anthropologist instead of a CFO, I might undertake it.