Needles and Staples

Saturday night I had my first introduction to sharp, pointy implements, namely needles and staples, neither of which I had ever seen firsthand. A number of my Emerald City friends very much enjoy poking people with sharp objects, typically eliciting an endorphin rush for both parties. I thought I knew what to expect from the numerous FetLife pictures I'd seen, but as I watched Lorelai weave needles in and out of people's skin, I questioned how I may react to the sensation.

As I've said before, I typically only bottom to feel the sensation, as I don't receive a buzz or a high from play and this I feel ethically responsible to do before I'm willing to play with someone the same fashion, but as I watched needles of varying gauges being woven into skin and out of skin I wondered if the sensation would be all I would receive this time. Needles seemed to garner a slightly more intense reaction than other types of play I'd experimented with and while my stomach wasn't doing flip flops; I was curious as to how I'd react. I figured a little self discovery would be a good way to start....so grabbing the stapler I punched a staple into my left forearm. A slight prick to be sure, but nothing more intense than a tattoo needle with a little bit of blood. When Lorelai was finished with her willing demo bottom, I told her to poke away.

As she readied my arm with alcohol, donned a fresh pair of latex gloves and massaged the soon to be pricked location, she checked in and instructed me to take a deep breath in and out and repeat. I didn't watch, but I could feel the needle getting closer to my arm with each exhale. As I relaxed she pounced....a slight prick was all I felt, the sensation was interesting and it took longer to feel the exiting prick than I would've expected, but once it was done, it was done. Nothing ground breaking, no endorphin rush, no blissed out feeling. Just a sensation that came and went. She ended up making a 3 needle button on my upper left arm, while Buffy stapled my right arm 6 or 7 times. You can feel the needles in your arm, as a button consists of needles deeper in the tissue underneath the previous needle in a circular pattern, but it was more pressure than anything and by no means painful. At one point Matisse, feigned applying pressure to the raised skin in the middle of the button, to which I said, "Be my guest." And she did. I later asked her how much pressure she applied and apparently she leaned into it pretty good, but again nothing. The blank expression on my face as she released the pressure, I think almost confused her as she walked away fanning her face....sadists enjoy pain resistant bottoms and that is apparently I.

To see if I could evoke a different sensation I spent some time slapping both the staples and the button, but all I could muster was some blood. After about half an hour or so, Lorelai removed the needles and Buffy the staples (I love that the body staple remover is very similar to a paper-based staple remover, gave me a good chuckle). As she was removing the needles, Lorelai asked if she could twist it during removal; consent was granted.....Now imagine if you will a needle threading through the skin of your arm and instead of being pulled straight out, said needle was bent upwards, twisted and dug into your tissue over the 15 seconds or so. Is that picture in your head? Good, that's what happened as my final needle was removed to the point where it had an acute angle at its mid-point. But again only a slight prick and blood.

Now I'm not trying to boast or make claims that I'm a heavy bottom, I just found it curious that all I encountered was a slight sensation when the prick actually occurred, which was very contrary to the woman to my left who when stuck with a single needle stared into Buffy's eyes and cooed in a soft tone, "Your eyes are shiny." Now that's a blissed out reaction to needle play.

Of course needle play wasn't the only thing that occurred during the post-HUMP party, there was of course bondage, flogging, single tails, and a lot of public sex, very different from your typical kink party and came primarily from the Burner population there. How long did it go on for one might ask....let's just say I'm glad that Saturday was the night we turned the clocks back this year.

Sir C Workshop

Just finished attending 2 workshops by Sir C, who is in Seattle from New York doing weekend workshops at the CSPC. If you're in Seattle tomorrow there's one more tomorrow called Basic Hojojutsu, he's a fantastic teacher and you should do your best to attend, and the best thing is, you don't have to be a CSPC member to attend. The second workshop was Sir C "Upping the Ante" and spent 2 hours demoing how to be mean, giving me many fantastic ideas, many of which had their "ante upped" due to all the kinky locals in attendance, they are a devious bunch, which is why I love making trips down here on a regular basis. One of the more interesting things I learned was that squirting water into someone's ear induces vomiting, something that wasn't demoed today, for obvious reasons, but would be very interesting to try at some point in the future. It's a medical technique to test brain dead to see if someone's alive or not. I also found out some very interesting ways to use pop rocks in conjunction with saran wrap and given that I know someone that loves to be saran wrapped, I'm excited to test it out in the near future. I came away with a lot more sadistic ideas (you can never have enough!) that I hope to employ soon and share with the blogging world, but I must run off to a Hump play party with some very kinky people here in town. I'm looking very forward to it as it'll be my first official Seattle private play party and I've convinced someone (it wasn't hard) to show me needle play, not on me necessarily but I've never seen it live (I have no idea why) and am looking forward to it.

Folsom Fringe

A kinky conference is like any other conference, you learn and network. Of course, networking takes on a different meaning in this context. I've always thought of a conference as something that allows you to advance your business connections and in the same vein a kink conference allows you to find new play partners, mentors, and friends....sounds very similar, doesn't it? I guess the networking isn't too different after all. Needless to say I met some amazing people and while I didn't play at the party on the Friday night, I did learn a lot and had some incredibly interesting conversations about kink and polyamory.

I found that the people that attended the conference were very much like me, they weren't just interested in the sensations derived from kink (well some were), but also how and why things are the way they are. It was refreshing to have intellectual conversations about poly and kink and how they related to each other in everyday lives, something that I always feel is lacking in my local scene. It's one of the reasons that I travel to Seattle on a regular basis, because the conversations that I can have there far exceed what I can have at home. While there are a couple of people in Vancouver that are interested in having these discussions the ability to have these discussions with people around the same age as me was fantastic. Especially since these are the people that I will be growing with in the world of kink. I may see them this year or in 5 years, but keeping in touch with them from time to time only serves to increase you network and talking only serves to drive my desire to learn and grow as the kinky person I am.

Busy Life

Apparently I have not been able to maintain my goal of writing an entry at least 3 times per week, which is very unlike me. Typically if I set a goal I stick to it, for that I apologize. My only excuse is a busy life, which does not satisfy me.

What have I been busy with? Well as I write this I’m on an airplane on my way to Folsom Street Fringe, which will eventually lead to Folsom Street Fair on Sunday. Labour day weekend I was in Seattle for Paradise Unbound, where I attended a number of workshops. The highlight of which was Graydancer’s Tie Em Up and Fuck Em workshop, which detailed a simple yet effective (it’s effectiveness has been confirmed) rope handcuff that takes mere seconds to unleash. The motto is….secure the wrists…..wrap the body….control the hips; with only a slight miracle required. I must applaud Graydancer as it is an original invention, thank-you.

Back home, I’ve continued to attend M/s discussions, attended a Protocal dinner, a Sir/Boy leather contest in Seattle judged by Monk and a 7-hour rope intensive taught by Boss Bondage. Oh and of course my non-kinky life has continued! So needless to say I’ve been busy. I do hope to be able to get back on track with blogging as it helps me put my thoughts and ideas into print. I’m sure I’ll have some reflections from both Folsom Street Fringe and Fair in the upcoming days.

Home Sweet Home?

I'm back from my 5,600km, 14-day marathon road trip through the US. Met some interesting people and had a chance to think about things that needed to be thought about, something that I think I should do more of. The interesting thing about this trip was that this was the first time in a long time that I didn't want to come home. Over the last number of years, I've always looked forward to coming home when I've been off on my own, but I didn't want to nor did I feel the need to. It was as if I could've stayed traveling until I got tired of it, probably because for the first time in a long time I had nothing to come home to. Sure my family is here, but we've been all over the map and don't see each other often and I know I could keep connected with them wherever I was. And yes I do have close friends, but I've been drifting further and further apart from them as my life has become more entrenched in both poly and kink, which they don't understand. Of course there's my job, but I was able to keep up with what I needed to keep up with while on the road taking an hour here or there to answer emails or look at proposals and I know I could do that wherever I was in the world. Needless to say it was an interesting feeling and one I'm not sure that I fully understand yet. I know why I felt the feeling, but I'm just not sure what to do with it yet.

Mr S

A picture of me is now the desktop for a pretty gay boy who works at Mr S Leather; or at least that's what he said he wanted my picture for. After he spent a good 45 minutes fondling my bits while fitting me for a cock and ball ring and attaching behind the back cuffs to my balls, he asked if he could take a picture of me from the chest up for his desktop. While at some point in my life I'm sure I'll have a sexual encounter with a man because I think any experience is worth trying, I consider myself 100% straight (if I were bi, I'm pretty sure our new friend would've followed us back to our hotel room). But since I made both his and A's day, it was worth it (she has a really big thing for pretty gay boys). A was so excited that when my hands were bound behind my back, she dropped to her knees and started giving me head in the dressing room, only to be interrupted by the employee and the owner of Mr S who came to see, "the pretty straight boy bound by his balls." Apparently that is a rarity at Mr S.

All told we spent about 5 hours at Mr S over the course of 2 days, I spent way too much money, but am bringing home some lovely new toys that I'm sure will leave some fantastic bruises on Blip....I'm only mildly sadistic. We also got to play dress-up with A, who spent the better part of 2 hours in Mrs S Leather getting decked out in leather and latex and did she ever look amazing. So much so that when we showed the pictures of her to our new friend, he showed the owner who said there may be an opportunity for her to come back and do some modelling for the Madame S website....I may have also been asked to have more pictures taken of me, which may or may not have been for their website.....

We also had some great food, did some sightseeing, and took in the SF Pride Parade (see pics below). The only stumbling point of the weekend was a flat tire as we tried to leave SF, maybe something was trying to tell us to stay longer, who knows?

Road Trip!!

I'm about to embark on another adventure. This one will take me south into the US; beginning tomorrow with a 3-hour private rope lesson with Max. I'm also going to be making a stop in San Francisco to do some kink related shopping and possibly take in the sights or their Pride parade this weekend. I'm not sure where else my trip will take me, but that's half the fun. I'm not sure when or if I'll be able to write for the next couple of weeks but I'll do my best.

On another note I spent almost 2 whole days with Blip this past weekend as her dominant, it was a very rewarding experience for both of us; but I realized how tiring it is to be dominant for an extended period of time....I was completely drained come Monday. It gives me a whole new respect for individuals in D/S relationships that are 24/7. I'm really enjoying exploring this avenue of my life and look forward to what it can bring me and how I can help Blip grow.

People in my life

Over the past couple of months, I've started to develop relationships with people both in and out of the kink community and I figured it'd be a good idea to recap those that I talk about the most as they are part of my growth as an individual both in and out of the kink community.

J - my ex-partner who I discovered poly and kink with. I still consider her my best friend and the one person that I can talk to about anything in the world. At the moment it's still difficult for both of us to spend time with each other as it usually ends in tears for one or both of us. But she's the woman that I will always envision my future with, even though my belief that there will ever be a chance for us again is gone.
Z - J's secondary while we were open. Just recently she told me that she is seeing him, while I know she didn't leave me for him I know he had an impact on our relationship, especially near the end; however all that matters to me is that she's happy.
A - My practice partner in Seattle. Our relationship is developing and neither of us have defined what it is or where it'll go but have put aside time and space to care for each other and see what happens. I'm off next week on a US road trip and she'll accompany me on part of it - from Sacramento (where she's spending the summer) to SF
Max - My bondage instructor and someone who I feel that I can learn a great deal from as I progress in the kink community. I see him as an informal mentor both in rope and in my kinky life, which is becoming more and more a part of my everyday life.
C - Was a vanilla girl I saw for a little while, we floated apart pretty quickly as I became more involved in the kink community and I realized it was something that she would never be interested in.
S - Another vanilla girl I dated for a while, she knew about my poly beliefs and kink lifestyle and still stuck around for a while, even though she saw rope bondage, "As something you'd do if you wanted to kidnap and kill someone." She knew that she wasn't the girl for me, but the short time we were together I left the impact on her life that I wanted to showing her that men can be decent and aren't always trying to get into her pants. We will continue to be friends, even though she doesn't want to hear about my kinky lifestyle.
Blip - My sub in my D/S relationship that recently began. Met her at a Vancouver play party, Rascal's, and I've been developing her as my submissive. It's a new experience for both of us and will be a very good learning experience.
H - A 19 year-old vanilla girl I've recently started dating. Only been out with her a couple of times and have yet to tell her about my poly/kinky beliefs but if she's still interested in me after I get back from my US road trip I will have the discussion with her, which I always find is an interesting conversation to have with people who are vanilla as it can bring out very intriguing reactions.

I think that's all for now. Enjoy the weekend!!

SEAF

It's already been a week and a half since I attended the Seattle Erotic Art Festival, better known as SEAF, wow how time flies. I had the chance to spend time with and meet some amazing people, look at some gorgeous artwork, watch the Cabinet of Curiousities show and see Monk do an impromtu rigging on a 4-poster metal bed, which was countered by a horrible rigging the following night by an apparently inexperienced rope top (if it wasn't above a bed, I'd would've been worried about the danger of her suspension work).

While all of the art was fantastic, ranging from paintings to metal beds (fantastic for suspension!!) to photographs from all walks of erotic life; I came very close to purchasing a painting of a woman in a japanese setting bound in a karada with her hands behind her back, but by the time I considered it my 2 favourite colours (purple and red) were already spoken for and I didn't love the other colours enough to spend $400, so I settled for a few photographs from the store. One of the more amazing (and strenuous) pieces of art was a collar that was held in place around the artist's neck by 6 hooks attached through the skin of her neck. The collar was maybe 18 inches in diameter and was made of what looked to be steel. And hanging on 12 inch cords were 24 weights holding it in place. What was really amazing was watching the artist spin around and around (as we all did when we were children) using the centrifugal force to pull the weights outwards and away from the collar. Nothing I'd wear but amazingly beautiful. I've been looking for a picture of it but alas cannot remember the artist's name. If I find one I will be sure to share it.

The Cabinet of Curiousities was a performance that pitted a young mailman against his button fetish; writing a letter to none other than Dan Savage (who also made a cameo appearance). Along his journey he received a cabinet from his late aunt that contained all sorts of erotic characters and fetishes, with performances ranging from belly dancing to puppeteering (mildy disturbing) to burlesque to rigging; that helped him be convinced that he was normal. And performances by Monk, Dirty Martini, Elizabeth Rose, Fuchsia FoXXX, Inga Ingenue (gorgeous woman and performance), Miss Indigo Blue, Paris Original (I never thought I would enjoy a gay man in a tutu so much), and Waxie Moon, along with a Stranger response from Mr. Savage helped him along his way. The show was performed both Friday and Saturday nights and was unbelieveable both times. If I had the words I'd describe the beauty of the performances I would but alas I am unable to do it justice.

I also had the luxury of spending some more time getting to know Max, L, and A and was introduced to another of Max's ladies S as well as nice, submissive woman who I'll call R. When the lights dimmed Friday and Saturday nights I had the opportunity to explore my dominant side as well as my knowledge of knots on more than one occasion. One of which led me to walk R around SEAF for 15 mins in a Hojojutsu tie, an old Japanese military bondage technique, with a convientently placed knot to make sure she didn't trip over her dress that elicited a lovely, little squeal each time the top of the rope was tugged upwards. As for the rest of it, you'll just have to use your imagination.

The weekend also allowed A and I to further develop our connection. If you recall A was my practice partner at Max's 2-day intensive and since that weekend we have been talking on a regular basis. We had made plans to meet up on Saturday, however her schedule ended up allowing her to meet me at SEAF for a couple of hours on Friday, so we got the chance to get to really know each other, this time with clothes on. I got to meet one of her partners, who I litterally handed her off to on Saturday night; he was volunteering at the event and they had plans for the evening, so we arranged to meet him at a specific time and I guided A there and delivered her to her partner, for lack of a better word, leaving me to go and entertain myself with R and L. At the time I thought it was something that I should feel awkward about (along with the us occasionally bumping into him and them making out) but I didn't. While she and I are just friends at this juncture, I had a feeling of happiness for her as I could tell that he made her happy and she was off to have a fun night. I had a similar feeling for J when I knew she was off having fun with Z, the feeling of compersion as opposed to jealousy. I think this feeling is integral to being able to succeed in polyamory because if you can't feel joy in your partner's happiness then what's the point?

After the weekend I felt a kinship with the people I spent time with, something I haven't felt with my friends in Vancouver for a long time. I felt like I could speak my mind and talk freely and openly about what was running through me head and that they'd understand and be able to offer their thoughts and opionions. Contrary to my local friends where I have to check myself before I speak or be prepared for a lack of return commentary or perplexed look. I've always had this with J, but this was different as I had that ability with friends, not just with my partner. It's a very welcome community in Seattle and I hope to try and get down there at least once a month, as I enjoy the feeling of freedom and excitement that the people there are able to give me and I think I them.

Exhausted

I've been meaning to write about my trip to Seattle last weekend where I attended SEAF and got to hang out with some amazing people, but my brain has not been very accommodating, so it'll have to wait until I can devote my full energy to writing about it. After fighting border traffic on Sunday to get back in time for my flag football game, I've spent the week helping a friend move, taking care of my father's cats, visiting the eye doctor, playing softball, watching hockey (I know not draining but when you're team keeps losing you reach a frustration level), and am off to a tattoo consultation today....toss work and a lack of sleep into the mix and I'm one burnt out blogger. And tonight I'm off to a burlesque show to watch a friend perform with her belly dancing troupe, which should be quite fun but will again contribute to my lack of sheep counting.

On the bright side, the lack of sleep has allowed me to get to know A a lot better, which in turn has allowed me to explore the dominant side of my personality. Last night I mentioned I was off to a tattoo consultant today and without thinking A wanted to know what, where, and its meaning in a demanding tone. Scolding her I shared with her the where and am withholding the other two. She called me sadistic for withholding that which she wanted to know; in a way I am (in more ways than this I might add)....it's fun to have someone want something so bad and have the power to give it to them or withhold it. It's an interesting power to wield and something I don't have too much experience with but it's something I'm definitely going to be exploring over the next couple of months.

Random Musings

I did some reading, watched a movie and listened to some podcasts while on business in Mexico and came across words that struck me:

Brutal simplicity
Art serving capitalism
Do not feed the creatives
Fail Harder
When was the last time you felt this passionate about anything
The people that are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do
Chin dripping peaches
Fear is a powerful depressant
Creativity can solve anything
Why would you not want to love as many people as you can?

On the plane, I was reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged while listening to Ludovico Einaudi's Primavera, which gave me an incredible sense of beauty. Individually these two works can make you soar, together they're indescribable. They gave me a sense that I'm supposed to be doing something different with my life; that my life should be more meaningful than what it currently is. Almost like some part of me is missing and is waiting to be discovered. Engrossed in these works I was overcome with emotion, feeling like my heart was going to burst. Occasionally when something beautiful strikes me I'll get this feeling knowing that I can't control or contain it. I don't know if others feel this way, but it's what makes me feel that I want to give this feeling to others; I know I have the potential to do so, I just know not the means. I equate it to how Ayn Rand describes love, also making me crave it all the more, she says that love has to be earned and that you have to be worthy of someone's love and until you earn it you cannot achieve it; it will only be found once earned. Do I feel this way about love? Yes, but also about my unrestrained emotion...like I have to earn the ability to give people this feeling that erupts within.

Away

I'll be away for a couple of days. I'm off to Mexico City for work and won't be returning until Thursday. My laptop will not be accompanying me on my trip as I've been told that Mexico City has some crime issues....so I will not be posting. For those of you who follow regularly I will be back writing at the end of the week. Have a great week and do something that you've never done before...challenge yourself!! It's fun and I can guarantee you won't regret it...and if you do, I'd love to hear about it. See you soon!

Solo Vacations

I have this theory about how when one partner goes on a vacation without the other it often leads to the end of their relationship. As I sit here writing this, it seems like such a silly concept; however over the course of my life I've had this happen to me on 4 different occasions, 3 of which would be what I would consider my most important relationships:

- My high school girlfriend from my senior year went away over Christmas for 10-days and within 2 days of coming back broke up with me to be with another guy
- Before J I was in a relationship for a year and my partner was away in Hong Kong for 3 weeks, while I spent 10 days in Hawaii for a wedding and within 2 days of us both being back in Vancouver I broke up with her to be with J, who herself at that time was in a casual relationship with her ex
- J was in Italy for a 6-week field school, although in this case it took 7-months for the relationship to come to an end but the feelings began to build during the field school, ultimately leading to our break-up; as the time alone allowed her to discover some things about herself;

When you're younger I think the explanation is easier, you have a long life ahead of you and a short attention span. However, as you grow more mature and your relationships become more significant, you'd think that this wouldn't hold true, but my history says that it does. In the case of J, I wonder if I jinxed our relationship because when she got into the field school I said it was going to lead to the end of our relationship, which at the time worried and upset her, but maybe my belief planted a seed of doubt her mind about us. I'll never know, but I wonder about it sometimes.

As I said the concept seems silly, especially since I know lots of people who take vacations without their partners and they stay together; but what if the length of the vacation has something to do with it. For instance, if you've been together for 6 years and one partner takes a 3-week vacation they'll be fine, but what about if that vacation was 7-weeks, would the same hold true? The separation of partners can lead to them forgetting what they enjoy about each other, it gives them time to think about themselves and evaluate where there are in life so that when they get back with their partner their mind is already on to the next thing. I don't believe in soul mates, maybe if I did I would say love conquers all and it doesn't matter where in the world you are you will always love your soul mate; but I think many people in the world are never satisfied; they'll always be on the lookout for the next best thing and when given the time to think about it, it's not what they have.

I think how vacations affect relationships would make for an interesting study and if I was an anthropologist instead of a CFO, I might undertake it.

Practice

One of my regrets in my relationship with J was that we didn't spend enough time playing with rope. After taking a class by Max in Seattle we discovered it's something that we both really enjoyed. While we were together I had a bit of a complex about playing with rope because I wasn't as confident in it as Z was, which made it hard for J to get into the correct headspace needed to really enjoy it with me. Of course, confidence is bred by practice and as we didn't practice much, my confidence didn't grow. Being in a poly relationship I hoped that I would have been able to find a secondary partner that would allow me to develop my skills that I could bring back to my primary partner. The problem with that is it takes a while to develop the comfort and trust with someone to let them tie you up and I unfortunately wasn't able to find that while J and I were together.

I still enjoy rope but have not moved on enough to find someone that I can practice with, I'm sure it'll come someday but in the meantime I've been trying to figure out how I can continue to grow this part of my life. Enter Max again. When we went to his class last October I was put on his email list, so the other day I received an email about a 2-Day Bondage Intensive class at the Center for Sex Positive Culture (CSPC) in Seattle. My first concern was my lack of a practice partner to attend with, I considered asking J but know that we're not at that point as friends/partners or whatever we'll end up as for it to be comfortable, so I emailed Max. In his reply he said that 1/3 to 1/2 arrive without a practice partner and small groups are formed for people to practice together so coming without a practice partner is not a problem at all. Hearing this I signed up. [When J and I were together we had discussed going to this class back in November, but due to the suspension aspect of it we were hesitant; but I figure that if I'm going to improve on my skills in this field of BDSM I may as well jump in head first.] I'd previously considered (and may still do so) getting private lessons with Max so a 2-Day class is a good start. I'm a little nervous about attending an event like this solo, luckily it's not for another month, so I have a while to turn my nervous excitement into excitement.

For the class I was required to buy another 275' of rope (thank-you Monk!), among other things....methinks a new rope drawer will be needed.

A Mormon Adventure

I spent the last 3 days in Orem, Utah; heart of Mormon country. When I was in Vegas a couple of months ago I had a brief encounter with a Mormon girl; well since that trip I've remained in contact with her and went to visit her this past weekend. I now know more than I ever thought I would about Mormons. Once I catch up on a couple of things here in Vancouver I'll put a post together...hopefully tomorrow. Needless to say it's an experience I won't soon forget.

Travel frustration

A week in Jamaica was just what everyone needs. 30 degrees and sunny....sitting on the beach....reading.....relaxing.....playing with J; really makes me want to get myself a 4-poster bed. All of which was much needed after a 12 hour travel day.

We were lucky enough to leave on the day that the TSA implemented the new travel restrictions. For those of you that haven't had to deal with them yet, take note. You are no longer allowed to take carry-on baggage when flying from Canada to the US, unless you're female in which case you can take your purse. And when I mean no carry-on I mean nothing, you can take a camera but no camera bag; you can take your laptop but no laptop bag. This is from Canada to the US!! I can see it now, a man is going to sue the government for reverse sexism because a woman can take her purse but her can't take his man purse; very interested to see how that'll turn out. I'm not sure how this going to prevent another underpants bomb; personally I don't think it'll prevent anything as its reactive and not preventative. I'm by no means an expert on security nor do I have any brilliant ideas; but I can see when something is just for show and as corny as this may sound the human spirit is what will prevent another incident; just as it did on the Christmas day flight.....I guess what I'm saying is beware when you travel and if you see something that you're unsure about take action. And pack accordingly unless you're going into the US from somewhere else...for instance going from Jamaica to the US you can take as much carry-on as you want. Not that I don't think Jamaica is a safe place but you'd think compared to Canada there would be more travel restrictions from Jamaica to the US than from Canada....but maybe that's just me.

I'm off to San Diego for a day on Sunday to go to a football game, typically I would be taking only carry-on but not this time....keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't make me miss kick-off.

And in my world of poly I have a date tomorrow with an Australian girl. Met at a bar on the weekend while she was participating in a Bachelorette party (no she's not the bride) and quite drunk; so it should be interesting to see how she is sober. I'll let you know how it goes.

Before I go I have to say that I have the best partner in the world. She has been incredibly happy for me and supportive as I date other women. I just hope that I can be as supportive of her with Z and her other partners. Thank-you J, I love you.

Packing

I think I need a special suitcase for kink related things; half of it is filled up with them. I think I'm more worried than ever about my luggage getting lost....2 short layovers on our way to Jamaica....fingers crossed. I really wish I could take it all as carry-on but I can only imagine the look on the security guard's face as my bag went through the x-ray machine, I don't I'd make it to the plane. All I have to worry about is trying to explain to the airline what was in my bag if it gets lost.

"So I had....

- 3-30 ft lengths of rope (1 each of bamboo, silk and hemp)

- 4-10 ft lengths of rope (2 each of bamboo and silk)

- 2-15 ft lengths of hemp rope

- 1-10 ft 4mm rope (I tried not to pack this one, but J figured it out....she's evil)

(All rope courtesy of Twisted Monk....shameless plug....but I love this guy....if we weren't going away for the next week, we'd be front row for his class in Vegas on Jan 7th)

- 2 dildos (one vibrating and one glass)

- butt plug

- 2 O My vibrating buds (always need a back-up)

- Jimmy Jane vibe

- 3 whips of varying sizes

- I'm not sure what its called but its got a thin soft outside with pins underneath so when you smack someone with it...well let's just say all you feel is pins and it leaves lovely marks and sensations....that's packed too

- More lube than you can shake a stick at

- Half a box of condoms (probably won't be needed, but you can never be too safe :D)

- many, many batteries

O and there were some clothes and toiletries in there too..."

I wonder if my travel insurance would cover the lost items? Almost curious enough to find out, but I like my toys too much. So we're off, have a Happy New Years and we'll see you in 2010.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas - Part 2

Needless to say Day 2 started a little slower than the Day 1. I'm usually pretty good about not getting hungover, but my friends aren't as lucky. The day was relatively uneventful dune buggying (pretty sure that's not a word), gambling, buffets....definitely a typically Vegas day/evening.

As night turned into evening, it was time to partake in a Vegas must: the strip club. It's hard to compare a Vegas strip club to other strip clubs because of their vastness. The place we went to was about 70,000 square feet; companies don't have warehouses that big (they call it the world's largest Las Vegas strip club, which really doesn't make sense, but who am I to judge their logic). We had a table booked, so limo pick-up from our hotel and in past the line without cover (very much recommended as cover was $40/person). As soon as we're in the door 4 girls converge on us and 'escort' us to our table.

Now I enjoy the strip clubs, probably more than most men, I'd love to say it's the dancing (ahem...simulated sex) and nudity but honestly I think it's the conversation with a seemingly random woman. You can tell them anything and really there are no reprucusions as you'll probably never see them or talk to them again (unless you're me). Prior to this visit I'd been to 2 Vegas strip clubs and both times I spent roughly 7 hours at the club each visit; this time was no different.

So an attractive woman entwines her arm with mine as I walk through the door and escorts me to our table, sitting down next to me and we proceed to talk for the next hour or so. Not pushy at all waiting until I give her an opening by forgetting her name......it was loud, what can I say? Guiltily, I head to the VIP with her for 3 songs (ok...not really guiltily) and she does her thing. Great dancer although I'm not sure if you can call what she did dancing, it was more like sex with my clothes on. Afterwards I figured she got what she wanted and would move on to the next guy; but no back to my table with me and we continued to talk.

By this time one of my friends had left. Another hour of talking....during which time I realized she was a really nice girl, down to earth; and being me I start the kinky and poly discussions. Restraint, spanking, hair pulling were all topics of discussion leading to a couple of common interests; wasn't really into rope but enjoyed ties as restraint so I'm pretty sure I could convert her, given a night and some Twisted Monk hemp. (Speaking of Vegas and Monk, if you happen to be in the area on January 7th you should definitely attend his class http://twistedmonk.blogspot.com/2009/12/by-popular-demand.html - I wish I had another Vegas trip in me as there's also AFN on the 8th and the 9th in Vegas...if only the time and money were availed to me). She didn't quite catch on the poly idea though, I've found that that's a tough one to get people to accept. Nevertheless I did leave 3 hours later with a hug, a kiss, her real name and phone number. Since getting back we've kept in touch, maybe one day I'll have the chance to convert her.

Now there's a certain stigma about strippers; they're dirty and something happened to them that made made them strip. It's a similar stigma that escorts get. Now I've known my fair share of ladies in the sex business (mainly as a patron, mind you) and most of them are not dirty and chose to do what they are doing. Why you ask? Because it pays well and they enjoy it!! Most of the ladies I've gotten to know are attending or saving money for school; it's just a part-time job. Why are they viewed as lesser than you or I? I don't see them that way. I worked at a video store during university; if I could've worked at a strip club for the same hours and more money, would I have? Hell yeah; of course I would've needed tits, a full body wax and a way to hide my junk; but without those obstacles I'd have been all over it. Next time you go to a strip club remember the woman dancing is just as normal (or fucked up) as you and the guy sitting next to you.

Wow this post took a long time to write, my apologizes; lack of brain writing function.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas - Part 1

Well some of it does, the rest is discussed here. 2 nights in Vegas with 3 of my oldest friends for a 30th birthday that will never be forgotten....well what we can (or choose) to remember of it anyways.

From almost missing my flight (it was overbooked - I hate Air Canada)

To dinner at N9ne with Dana White (almost - he was two tables over)

To tipping McDonalds employees for faster service (everyone in Vegas does work on tips!)

To VIP at Moon and the Playboy Club (you'll never get a better view of Vegas)

To knocking boots with Frank Mir and Kimbo Slice

To hijacking at bachelorette party (they must've thought we were stalking them)

To making out with a gorgeous woman (who knew Mormons were that hot? I think I have to take a trip to Provo!)

And that was only the first day!

I always find it interesting how different women respond when I tell them about my interest in bdsm (I start them off light....rope bondage) and that I'm in an open relationship. I love see their reactions, usually a mixture of horror and intrigue. I had a conversation with a girl at Moon, let's call her H (see this does have something to do with me trip). Now H seemed to be a very conservative woman from the mid-west, partying it up in Vegas for her friend's bachelorette party (yes the one we hijacked). I've never been to Chicago but am very much wanting to visit to attend Shabiracon, which I told her. And being the conservative that she is had never heard of it, so I explained. I guess you could describe the look on her face as frightened....no that's not right....petrified. I swear she thought I was going to pull rope out of my pocket and tie her to the table. Really that's never out of the question, but the lack of rope and the look of terror would've made things difficult. As our conversation progressed throughout the night, I'd catch that petrified look to which I'd query, "You're a little scared of me aren't you?" The answer always being yes. That scared look improved to a look of frightened wonderment during the night, you know the one; where it almost isn't out of the question to ask and if asked at the right moment she'd be interested. I love that look.

Much later in the night (or early in the morning depending on your perspective) as we came out of the elevator and she said that we could be facebook friends (seriously when did this become a saying?) I dropped the....fyi I'm in an open relationship. Haven't seen someone stop that abruptly in a long time, stifling a laugh at 430 in the morning after a night of drinking is never easy, but somehow I managed. The typical questions followed:

How does it work?

How do you handle it?

Don't you get jealous?

What if she falls for someone else?

All of which need much more than the 5 minutes we had to discuss on the way to the taxi stand. Maybe we'll finish it when I head to ShibariCon, maybe she'll attend....kill 2 birds with one stone. I wish I could capture people's expressions in these moments but carrying around a camera and snapping a picture after discussing my kinky life would probably kill any mood said discussion might generate. I guess I'll have to settle for memories.

More stories to come from the balance of the trip tomorrow if time permits, but there is some much needed catch up time to be had with J, given our busy lives, so Day 2 may have to wait.