Why do we feel guilt? For me, it's usually self-imposed, rarely do others make me feel guilty. Lately, however I've been feeling more and more guilt about being poly. My (for lack of a better word) primary partner, Marie, lives in a different city and although we see each other quite regularly it's not everyday and due to her new work schedule we're not communicating as much as we used to. As a result there's now a sense of guilt whenever I spend time with peach, not because I'm spending time with her, but because I feel like Marie needs me to be available to communicate with her seeing as we don't communicate as much as we used to.
Marie does not do anything to make me feel guilty, it's that I know she wishes I were available to communicate when she's available and I'm with peach it makes me feel guilty for being with her, like I said self-imposed guilt. I'm undecided on how to handle it. All it's doing is making me less inclined to spend time with peach when I know Marie is available to communicate and that's not fair to peach.
My relationship with each is very different. I'm very much in love with Marie and she is someone who I see myself living with sometime in the next year and we have similar relationship goals. Me and peach have a defined D/s relationship, she is submissive to me, but we don't have the same relationship goals. She very much wants to be someone's slave and enjoys the potential of a 24/7 D/s relationship with a Dominant, something I've never wanted. Marie and I are both very secure in our relationship and we have an amazingly strong connection, but yet I still feel guilty.
Marie is new to the poly lifestyle (I'm her first poly partner) and recently she's been struggling due to her feelings surrounding recently having casual sex with a friend; leading her to take 3 months to determine how she feels about poly. Another source of guilt may be the road I'm taking with peach; if Marie doesn't feel like she can be in a poly relationship, what then? Will I have just dragged peach along for the last few months? I also know that I'm not what peach wants, we don't have the same goals and while we both know this I have a feeling she lies to herself about it. I'm trying to mitigate this by pushing her into the BDSM community more, as I am also her first poly relationship and Dominant, so exposure is important for her.
The ironic thing about my guilt is that if I were to end it with peach and move at a slower pace with Marie from a poly perspective, instead of 'forcing' her into it, she'd feel guilty about me not being poly. It's a no-win situation; I feel that no matter what I do I'm fucked.
A friend of mine once said that poly relationships are like the Phd of relationships, not because we're better or smarter than monogamously inclined individuals but because it takes that much more work to have successful poly relationships and when they do work they are incredibly rewarding. Being able to be a part of someone you care about's growth is my favourite thing about poly. It's not about the sex, it's not about the play, it's about being a part of someone's life and potentially having a material impact on that life; that's what poly means to me.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Drunk and Unsubmissive
Last week my submissive partner, peach, showed up an hour late to a date with me highly intoxicated. I knew as soon as I spoke to her on the phone I should've told her to go home. I had to verbally direct her to my condo, a place she's been on numerous occasions over the past 6 months, even though she was only 5 blocks away. It took 25 minutes to coax her in the right direction, something that should not be necessary given our D/s relationship. I should've gone with my gut feeling and not concerned myself with how she would react, she wasn't being disobedient per se rather she was not in any place to do a scene, let alone hold a conversation. My feeling towards her was/is utter disappointment, not in that she was late but that she had let herself get to that point with the knowledge she was to see me that evening.
Upon finally arriving, her usual submissiveness was non-existent. The food she had brought me was inedible after being tossed upside down in her bag, she split water all over my floor failing to clean it up, forgot to use 'Sir' the name she is supposed to call me...these were only a few of her indiscretions. It was obvious that she was in no place to be spending time with me, so I got her together and drove her home, much to her chagrin and indignation, as she tried to storm out, something she would typically never consider doing, no matter what the scenario. She said she wasn't THAT drunk and that I didn't need to drive her home, however I had no confidence in her ability to find her own way.
What really got to me during this ordeal and really the purpose of my writing is the numerous items that she discussed or babbled on about when I got her to her place and tried to get her out of my car, which took over 45 minutes. I feel that when people are drunk things that are usually thought about are vocalized, as the level of restraint usually shown is eliminated; I'm sure that many of you have witnessed the same thing in similar situations. These formerly hidden thoughts and feelings can sometimes be ignored, but I'm not sure if that's true in this case.
Through tears she said: her friends didn't understand our relationship and didn't like the way I treated her; I didn't care about her or didn't show it in a way that she wanted; that she didn't feel like herself around me and felt uncomfortable in her own skin; that her feeling of being uncomfortable was compounded because of how comfortable I was with everything; that she was afraid of having her submissiveness rejected because she wanted to be more submissive than what I was looking for; she wanted to potentially be a slave in the future, but knows that's not what I want; on two occasions that she thought the conversation in my car would be the last one we had and would be the end of our relationship as she knew it.....And then the next day she remembered none of it....
She doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to know what she said, and she's beside herself with grief over being that intoxicated in front of me. I don't know how I'm supposed to handle our relationship now. I know I can't go on as if nothing she said wasn't said, I'm a talker and I need to talk about things like this. But the flip side is I know that I can't handle the fallout from that discussion; I can't handle another 4 hour crying session from her, that we've gone through on more than one occasion; it won't resolve anything. Those thoughts and feelings of hers will continue to be there, continue to reside in her head and continue to affect our relationship. She's looking to me to help fix her through D/s and only she can fix herself, I can only help give her a little nudge along the way and I wonder if in this case that nudge is an end to her first D/s relationship......
Upon finally arriving, her usual submissiveness was non-existent. The food she had brought me was inedible after being tossed upside down in her bag, she split water all over my floor failing to clean it up, forgot to use 'Sir' the name she is supposed to call me...these were only a few of her indiscretions. It was obvious that she was in no place to be spending time with me, so I got her together and drove her home, much to her chagrin and indignation, as she tried to storm out, something she would typically never consider doing, no matter what the scenario. She said she wasn't THAT drunk and that I didn't need to drive her home, however I had no confidence in her ability to find her own way.
What really got to me during this ordeal and really the purpose of my writing is the numerous items that she discussed or babbled on about when I got her to her place and tried to get her out of my car, which took over 45 minutes. I feel that when people are drunk things that are usually thought about are vocalized, as the level of restraint usually shown is eliminated; I'm sure that many of you have witnessed the same thing in similar situations. These formerly hidden thoughts and feelings can sometimes be ignored, but I'm not sure if that's true in this case.
Through tears she said: her friends didn't understand our relationship and didn't like the way I treated her; I didn't care about her or didn't show it in a way that she wanted; that she didn't feel like herself around me and felt uncomfortable in her own skin; that her feeling of being uncomfortable was compounded because of how comfortable I was with everything; that she was afraid of having her submissiveness rejected because she wanted to be more submissive than what I was looking for; she wanted to potentially be a slave in the future, but knows that's not what I want; on two occasions that she thought the conversation in my car would be the last one we had and would be the end of our relationship as she knew it.....And then the next day she remembered none of it....
She doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to know what she said, and she's beside herself with grief over being that intoxicated in front of me. I don't know how I'm supposed to handle our relationship now. I know I can't go on as if nothing she said wasn't said, I'm a talker and I need to talk about things like this. But the flip side is I know that I can't handle the fallout from that discussion; I can't handle another 4 hour crying session from her, that we've gone through on more than one occasion; it won't resolve anything. Those thoughts and feelings of hers will continue to be there, continue to reside in her head and continue to affect our relationship. She's looking to me to help fix her through D/s and only she can fix herself, I can only help give her a little nudge along the way and I wonder if in this case that nudge is an end to her first D/s relationship......
Monday, December 5, 2011
Fear of the Unknown
There are only a handful of people I know that never get jealous, for the most part everyone has a little bit of jealousy in them, why is this? Yes I’m polyamorous and yes I still get jealous on occasion; I’ll admit it, if you refuse to admit it you’ll never be able to understand it. Typically my feelings of jealousy stem from a fear of the unknown. Will a new relationship change the dynamics of an existing relationship with an already established partner? We’d all like to say, “no it won’t we have a specific kind of relationship and not looking for something similar to replace it,” but often how do you know that until it happens? The reality is you don’t, even if you have a relationship contract and a set of perfectly laid out rules, it still doesn’t change a new relationship will change your existing one. We can’t always control our emotions and desires, how we feel when someone does something that makes us smile. I feel knowing that this can and often does happen allows you to be better prepared to deal with it if and when it does.
I’ve recently been going through some of this in my head, primarily because my partner is quite new to poly and while I know she loves me, she’s also figuring out whether poly is right for her. So therein lies my fear of the unknown. In relationships I find that I plan for the worst to protect myself emotional, and while I recognize the worst case would be she would end our relationship, I see that case as irrational given our connection, and approach the worst case as the fear of a change in our relationship. What would that change look like? Since she lives out of town would it affect how often we see one another? Would another individual use her guilt complex against her (something I would never do and that I’m actually helping her get over)? So many things could happen, which of course is the case in any relationship, thinking about it (while bringing up potential feelings of jealousy – via fear of loss) allows me to be better prepared if it does happen – but sometimes I wonder if it’s also a form of self-sabotage.
Now change is not inherently bad, change leads to growth, negotiation and a new understanding of you, your partner and your relationship; it’s the unknown that gets me, that weighs on my mind. I wish I could say it’d be different if the relationship wasn’t so new and she wasn’t new to poly, but I’m not sure that I can. I do know that when she goes on a date and meets someone new I’m happy for her and excited to hear all about it and share that experience with her as her partner, but there will always be that little part of me that wonders…..will this change us?
I’ve recently been going through some of this in my head, primarily because my partner is quite new to poly and while I know she loves me, she’s also figuring out whether poly is right for her. So therein lies my fear of the unknown. In relationships I find that I plan for the worst to protect myself emotional, and while I recognize the worst case would be she would end our relationship, I see that case as irrational given our connection, and approach the worst case as the fear of a change in our relationship. What would that change look like? Since she lives out of town would it affect how often we see one another? Would another individual use her guilt complex against her (something I would never do and that I’m actually helping her get over)? So many things could happen, which of course is the case in any relationship, thinking about it (while bringing up potential feelings of jealousy – via fear of loss) allows me to be better prepared if it does happen – but sometimes I wonder if it’s also a form of self-sabotage.
Now change is not inherently bad, change leads to growth, negotiation and a new understanding of you, your partner and your relationship; it’s the unknown that gets me, that weighs on my mind. I wish I could say it’d be different if the relationship wasn’t so new and she wasn’t new to poly, but I’m not sure that I can. I do know that when she goes on a date and meets someone new I’m happy for her and excited to hear all about it and share that experience with her as her partner, but there will always be that little part of me that wonders…..will this change us?
Monday, October 3, 2011
Buyer Beware
I've found myself managing dates or potential partner's expectations of me. I don't want them to get attached where they expect something from me that I can't give them; I'm by no means trying to sound conceited, but this has happened more often than I'd like and ultimately leads to disappointment. I'm not 100% sure why or how this happens but some of the more frequent ones have been that I don't have goals that align with society's or I'm lacking a certain emotional aspect their looking for or I don't end up becoming monogamous for them. I try to manage these expectation through honesty but don't always think I'm heard, people tend to hear what they want to hear.
I hate hurting people emotionally and seeing as I know that I'm not going to be in their future plans the best option is to not date, but even in light of the above I know I have things to offer. I know I can help show them something they wouldn't have explored/thought of before. I can do this because I'm honest, which in turn fosters their honesty and trust, and I also don't judge someone for something that they do or have done, so anything is on the table for discussion. Looking across the spectrum of my acquaintances these traits are well....rare, which is why I come off at 'intriguing' or 'interesting.' (If this is not rare for you, count yourself lucky!!)
I'm beginning to think that managing expectations isn't the right way to go, that I should just be honest and let things fall as they may. If someone doesn't hear what I'm saying then maybe they deserve the anguish that may occur. My only hesitation is that most people wouldn't understand or learn the lesson, rather detest me for misleading them; which is contrary to my goal of "leaving someone better off than before I met them.' And therein lies the conundrum.
I hate hurting people emotionally and seeing as I know that I'm not going to be in their future plans the best option is to not date, but even in light of the above I know I have things to offer. I know I can help show them something they wouldn't have explored/thought of before. I can do this because I'm honest, which in turn fosters their honesty and trust, and I also don't judge someone for something that they do or have done, so anything is on the table for discussion. Looking across the spectrum of my acquaintances these traits are well....rare, which is why I come off at 'intriguing' or 'interesting.' (If this is not rare for you, count yourself lucky!!)
I'm beginning to think that managing expectations isn't the right way to go, that I should just be honest and let things fall as they may. If someone doesn't hear what I'm saying then maybe they deserve the anguish that may occur. My only hesitation is that most people wouldn't understand or learn the lesson, rather detest me for misleading them; which is contrary to my goal of "leaving someone better off than before I met them.' And therein lies the conundrum.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Women
There's something so beautiful about women; the feel of their skin.....the way their hair falls over their face, their neck, their shoulders......how one piece of their outfit can enhance their beauty 10-fold. Many times it's not even in a sexual context, there's not much I enjoy more than snuggling with a woman running my fingers down her spine, across her stomach, over the tops of her breasts, up the nape of her neck. For many this is very sexual and in a way it is for me as well, but in a very different fashion; I don't expect or want it to lead to anything other than what it is....intimacy between two individuals. I think this is one of the reasons I'm poly, it's not all about sex, rather the intimacy between two people that can be so much more than sex; something that can enhance a friendship beyond what is accustomed by society. The touch, the caress, the intimacy....something I will always crave, desire, and love.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Kinky Ethics
A couple of weeks ago I attended a seminar on accounting ethics, now before you close your browser in terror at the thought of me actually discussing accounting ethics, never fear; I have none such intention. The seminar did, however get me thinking of how BDSM/poly ethics are applicable in the vanilla world, because ethics are ethics, no matter what you're doing.
One of the most important BDSM actions, or inactions as the case may be, is the lack of physical contact until you know someone well. How many times have you been to a club or a bar and been groped by someone you don't know while you're dancing? Standing at the bar? Walking to the bathroom? It's happened to me at least a dozen times, I can only imagine how many times its happened to the ladies out there. The complete opposite is true at a BDSM party, no one you don't know will grope you and people you do know will ask before they touch you in any fashion; you'd think this would be common sense, but apparently not.
Then there's negotiation, which occurs before most BDSM and poly relationships begin. Guidelines, ground rules, and limits need to be established before anything progresses, I agree it can take some of the suspense out of a relationship but wouldn't you rather know if a partner was allergic to latex or had an STI before you began a night of needles or oral sex? I would, so what if it's a little TMI before things get serious; you'll thank yourself for it later. Or how about whether or not you want to know if your partner slept with someone, who that someone was and what they did together? There's no such thing as a mind reader (at least as far as I know), so if you don't know this stuff up front, one of you is going to end up disappointed. I know I've had women I've dated tell me I'm too honest and it's tough for them to handle, but I'm glad I know that now instead of 5 years down the road, saves us both some time and disappointment!
BDSM and poly have made me more ethical than I was before I entered their respective communities; however the irony is that my lifestyle may be seen as detrimental and unethical to the vanilla accounting community I'm a member of. I know I would be prepared to give up said membership if it came down to a choice between my lifestyle or the membership, even though it took me 4 years to get. I'm not being dramatic either, the seminar instructor told a story about how he knew of a member who also owned a strip club, which was deemed detrimental to the membership (yes I know, it sounds like a cult); typically I would've argued til the cows came home, but at this point I had been in the seminar for 7 hours and just wanted to get home, besides I don't think anyone in the room would've agreed with me that the ownership of a strip club was NOT detrimental; sometimes the world just frustrates me. Needless to say, if I continue to be as open as I am about who I am there will be someone who will think it's detrimental to the membership and since I'm not planning on changing who I am....well.....a battle there will be, because one thing I won't do, is go down without proving a point a second time.
One of the most important BDSM actions, or inactions as the case may be, is the lack of physical contact until you know someone well. How many times have you been to a club or a bar and been groped by someone you don't know while you're dancing? Standing at the bar? Walking to the bathroom? It's happened to me at least a dozen times, I can only imagine how many times its happened to the ladies out there. The complete opposite is true at a BDSM party, no one you don't know will grope you and people you do know will ask before they touch you in any fashion; you'd think this would be common sense, but apparently not.
Then there's negotiation, which occurs before most BDSM and poly relationships begin. Guidelines, ground rules, and limits need to be established before anything progresses, I agree it can take some of the suspense out of a relationship but wouldn't you rather know if a partner was allergic to latex or had an STI before you began a night of needles or oral sex? I would, so what if it's a little TMI before things get serious; you'll thank yourself for it later. Or how about whether or not you want to know if your partner slept with someone, who that someone was and what they did together? There's no such thing as a mind reader (at least as far as I know), so if you don't know this stuff up front, one of you is going to end up disappointed. I know I've had women I've dated tell me I'm too honest and it's tough for them to handle, but I'm glad I know that now instead of 5 years down the road, saves us both some time and disappointment!
BDSM and poly have made me more ethical than I was before I entered their respective communities; however the irony is that my lifestyle may be seen as detrimental and unethical to the vanilla accounting community I'm a member of. I know I would be prepared to give up said membership if it came down to a choice between my lifestyle or the membership, even though it took me 4 years to get. I'm not being dramatic either, the seminar instructor told a story about how he knew of a member who also owned a strip club, which was deemed detrimental to the membership (yes I know, it sounds like a cult); typically I would've argued til the cows came home, but at this point I had been in the seminar for 7 hours and just wanted to get home, besides I don't think anyone in the room would've agreed with me that the ownership of a strip club was NOT detrimental; sometimes the world just frustrates me. Needless to say, if I continue to be as open as I am about who I am there will be someone who will think it's detrimental to the membership and since I'm not planning on changing who I am....well.....a battle there will be, because one thing I won't do, is go down without proving a point a second time.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Jealousy, Monogamy, and Power
It's been a long time since I've made a post, I do have things I want to write about; I've been working on something to do with ethics and the role they play in poly and bdsm relationships, but have not had the time to get it down yet, I hope that I will do so soon. In the meantime I would like to share an essay on jealousy, monogamy, and power by Pepper. I came across this a few months ago but have only recently had the chance to read it. I do understand that it is quite long and appears to be technical, however it is a fantastic read that discusses how jealousy relates to monogamy and how it can negatively impact both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. I hope you enjoy it, I did.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Needles and Staples
Saturday night I had my first introduction to sharp, pointy implements, namely needles and staples, neither of which I had ever seen firsthand. A number of my Emerald City friends very much enjoy poking people with sharp objects, typically eliciting an endorphin rush for both parties. I thought I knew what to expect from the numerous FetLife pictures I'd seen, but as I watched Lorelai weave needles in and out of people's skin, I questioned how I may react to the sensation.
As I've said before, I typically only bottom to feel the sensation, as I don't receive a buzz or a high from play and this I feel ethically responsible to do before I'm willing to play with someone the same fashion, but as I watched needles of varying gauges being woven into skin and out of skin I wondered if the sensation would be all I would receive this time. Needles seemed to garner a slightly more intense reaction than other types of play I'd experimented with and while my stomach wasn't doing flip flops; I was curious as to how I'd react. I figured a little self discovery would be a good way to start....so grabbing the stapler I punched a staple into my left forearm. A slight prick to be sure, but nothing more intense than a tattoo needle with a little bit of blood. When Lorelai was finished with her willing demo bottom, I told her to poke away.
As she readied my arm with alcohol, donned a fresh pair of latex gloves and massaged the soon to be pricked location, she checked in and instructed me to take a deep breath in and out and repeat. I didn't watch, but I could feel the needle getting closer to my arm with each exhale. As I relaxed she pounced....a slight prick was all I felt, the sensation was interesting and it took longer to feel the exiting prick than I would've expected, but once it was done, it was done. Nothing ground breaking, no endorphin rush, no blissed out feeling. Just a sensation that came and went. She ended up making a 3 needle button on my upper left arm, while Buffy stapled my right arm 6 or 7 times. You can feel the needles in your arm, as a button consists of needles deeper in the tissue underneath the previous needle in a circular pattern, but it was more pressure than anything and by no means painful. At one point Matisse, feigned applying pressure to the raised skin in the middle of the button, to which I said, "Be my guest." And she did. I later asked her how much pressure she applied and apparently she leaned into it pretty good, but again nothing. The blank expression on my face as she released the pressure, I think almost confused her as she walked away fanning her face....sadists enjoy pain resistant bottoms and that is apparently I.
To see if I could evoke a different sensation I spent some time slapping both the staples and the button, but all I could muster was some blood. After about half an hour or so, Lorelai removed the needles and Buffy the staples (I love that the body staple remover is very similar to a paper-based staple remover, gave me a good chuckle). As she was removing the needles, Lorelai asked if she could twist it during removal; consent was granted.....Now imagine if you will a needle threading through the skin of your arm and instead of being pulled straight out, said needle was bent upwards, twisted and dug into your tissue over the 15 seconds or so. Is that picture in your head? Good, that's what happened as my final needle was removed to the point where it had an acute angle at its mid-point. But again only a slight prick and blood.
Now I'm not trying to boast or make claims that I'm a heavy bottom, I just found it curious that all I encountered was a slight sensation when the prick actually occurred, which was very contrary to the woman to my left who when stuck with a single needle stared into Buffy's eyes and cooed in a soft tone, "Your eyes are shiny." Now that's a blissed out reaction to needle play.
Of course needle play wasn't the only thing that occurred during the post-HUMP party, there was of course bondage, flogging, single tails, and a lot of public sex, very different from your typical kink party and came primarily from the Burner population there. How long did it go on for one might ask....let's just say I'm glad that Saturday was the night we turned the clocks back this year.
As I've said before, I typically only bottom to feel the sensation, as I don't receive a buzz or a high from play and this I feel ethically responsible to do before I'm willing to play with someone the same fashion, but as I watched needles of varying gauges being woven into skin and out of skin I wondered if the sensation would be all I would receive this time. Needles seemed to garner a slightly more intense reaction than other types of play I'd experimented with and while my stomach wasn't doing flip flops; I was curious as to how I'd react. I figured a little self discovery would be a good way to start....so grabbing the stapler I punched a staple into my left forearm. A slight prick to be sure, but nothing more intense than a tattoo needle with a little bit of blood. When Lorelai was finished with her willing demo bottom, I told her to poke away.
As she readied my arm with alcohol, donned a fresh pair of latex gloves and massaged the soon to be pricked location, she checked in and instructed me to take a deep breath in and out and repeat. I didn't watch, but I could feel the needle getting closer to my arm with each exhale. As I relaxed she pounced....a slight prick was all I felt, the sensation was interesting and it took longer to feel the exiting prick than I would've expected, but once it was done, it was done. Nothing ground breaking, no endorphin rush, no blissed out feeling. Just a sensation that came and went. She ended up making a 3 needle button on my upper left arm, while Buffy stapled my right arm 6 or 7 times. You can feel the needles in your arm, as a button consists of needles deeper in the tissue underneath the previous needle in a circular pattern, but it was more pressure than anything and by no means painful. At one point Matisse, feigned applying pressure to the raised skin in the middle of the button, to which I said, "Be my guest." And she did. I later asked her how much pressure she applied and apparently she leaned into it pretty good, but again nothing. The blank expression on my face as she released the pressure, I think almost confused her as she walked away fanning her face....sadists enjoy pain resistant bottoms and that is apparently I.
To see if I could evoke a different sensation I spent some time slapping both the staples and the button, but all I could muster was some blood. After about half an hour or so, Lorelai removed the needles and Buffy the staples (I love that the body staple remover is very similar to a paper-based staple remover, gave me a good chuckle). As she was removing the needles, Lorelai asked if she could twist it during removal; consent was granted.....Now imagine if you will a needle threading through the skin of your arm and instead of being pulled straight out, said needle was bent upwards, twisted and dug into your tissue over the 15 seconds or so. Is that picture in your head? Good, that's what happened as my final needle was removed to the point where it had an acute angle at its mid-point. But again only a slight prick and blood.
Now I'm not trying to boast or make claims that I'm a heavy bottom, I just found it curious that all I encountered was a slight sensation when the prick actually occurred, which was very contrary to the woman to my left who when stuck with a single needle stared into Buffy's eyes and cooed in a soft tone, "Your eyes are shiny." Now that's a blissed out reaction to needle play.
Of course needle play wasn't the only thing that occurred during the post-HUMP party, there was of course bondage, flogging, single tails, and a lot of public sex, very different from your typical kink party and came primarily from the Burner population there. How long did it go on for one might ask....let's just say I'm glad that Saturday was the night we turned the clocks back this year.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Sir C Workshop
Just finished attending 2 workshops by Sir C, who is in Seattle from New York doing weekend workshops at the CSPC. If you're in Seattle tomorrow there's one more tomorrow called Basic Hojojutsu, he's a fantastic teacher and you should do your best to attend, and the best thing is, you don't have to be a CSPC member to attend. The second workshop was Sir C "Upping the Ante" and spent 2 hours demoing how to be mean, giving me many fantastic ideas, many of which had their "ante upped" due to all the kinky locals in attendance, they are a devious bunch, which is why I love making trips down here on a regular basis. One of the more interesting things I learned was that squirting water into someone's ear induces vomiting, something that wasn't demoed today, for obvious reasons, but would be very interesting to try at some point in the future. It's a medical technique to test brain dead to see if someone's alive or not. I also found out some very interesting ways to use pop rocks in conjunction with saran wrap and given that I know someone that loves to be saran wrapped, I'm excited to test it out in the near future. I came away with a lot more sadistic ideas (you can never have enough!) that I hope to employ soon and share with the blogging world, but I must run off to a Hump play party with some very kinky people here in town. I'm looking very forward to it as it'll be my first official Seattle private play party and I've convinced someone (it wasn't hard) to show me needle play, not on me necessarily but I've never seen it live (I have no idea why) and am looking forward to it.
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